Saturday, April 9, 2011

Guestlist: Top Ten Ways to Improve NBA Basketball

by T. Christopher Long

10. Shorten the games to 5 minutes since it's only the last 5 minutes of a basketball game that matters. Reduce the shot clock to 12 seconds.

9. Eliminate dribbling. It sounds silly. It looks silly.

8. Raise the goal to 15 feet.

7. Eliminate the playoffs or eliminate the regular season. It doesn't matter which, but one of them has to go.

6. Unicycles.

5. No blood, no foul. With fewer fouls, free throws now count for 10 points. No fouling out.

4. In fact, revamp scoring completely. Shots in the paint count for 2. Shots inside the three-point line but not in the paint count for 3. Field goals count for 5. Backcourt shots count for 10.

3. Contract the league to the Lakers, Celtics, Bulls since those are historically the only relevant teams. I guess you can throw in Miami to balance things out mathematically and geographically. Now that I think about it, even the best teams typically have only two good players. Let's cut teams down to 3 players each.

2. One member of each team must be blindfolded at all times.

1. Change the channel to a baseball game.


Rich Clayton said...

We really need to incorporate these ideas into the 3-Ball rulebook.

Uncle Toby said...

I was telling somebody about 3-Ball the day before I made this list. Of course, I couldn't remember half of what we came up with. Should've written down the rules. We could have made millions.