- anchor chains
- plane motors
- train whistles
Friday, December 31, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
- You see gum on the street, leave it there. It's not free candy.
- There are, like, thirty Ray's Pizzas. They all claim to be the original, but the real one is on 11th.
- If you see a sign that says "Peep Show," that doesn't mean that they're letting you look at presents before Christmas.
Friday, December 24, 2010
1. Christmas lights! We don't do this every year, and when we don't we're shamed by the rest of our block.
2. Wreath - just bought this because with the pine cones and the big red bow it looks just like every wreath I drew as a kid.
3. "Tree" - This is new this year as well. Our midtown bungalow full of furniture can't hold a real tree anymore.
4. These angel ornaments are my favorite. I made them in 1992, the first year Toby and I had a tree.
5. Stockings - Someone made Toby's last year, and I'm pretty sure Mel Spillman made mine, as it is my name in glitter.
6. Manger - I bought this on e-bay a few years ago when I was feeling nostalgic for my childhood Christmas decorations. Typical of unscrupulous e-bay sellers, none of the figures actually matched - some are plaster, some are plastic - one sheep is as big as the cow, and only one of the three kings is present. But I still love it.
7. Angels! I also got these on my nostalgic e-bay spree, because when I was little we had a tree-topper in this style that was "mine." I love these gals - they are so cute!
8. Christmas cards - By tying Christmas cards to a string of garland I've turned your Christmas cards into a decoration!
9. This nutcracker is the newest edition, but will probably end up being a year-round decoration. Our nieces and nephews enthusiastically and unanimously picked this out for Uncle Toby, and were so excited about it they wanted him to open it before they opened their own presents!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
- Ella Fitzgerald's version of Laura
- Ella Fitzgerald's version of Miss Otis Regrets (to a lesser degree)
- Lyle Lovett's version of Mack the Knife
- Nina Simone's version of Pirate Jenny (winner)
Nina Simone's version of Don't Smoke in Bed
- Peggy Lee's version of Don't Smoke in Bed
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
22. "She needs a pre-sucked sour candy."
23. "Is he kinda like a circus performer?"
24. "Chinese tractors are made to be easy to work on." (personal favorite of this installment)
25. "I've never met a vegetarian Mexican."
26. "... the people who arrange marriages from sideshows..." (I'm willing to admit I may have mis-heard something there)
27. "Did you know that armadillos carry leprocy?"
28. "He was carrying a rattlesnake in a plastic bag."
29. "I wasn't privy to the nitty-gritty."
30. "I think it was like a pre-historic volcano or something."
31. "I'm gonna pass on the prostitute."
Thursday, November 11, 2010
- a bowl
- five pencils
- two bottle caps
- a New Yorker subscription card
- one slipper
- a Titleist golf ball
- a small Superball
- $1.62 in change
- a dreidel
- a half-pack of Juicy Fruit chewing gum
- a larger Superball
- a copy of "My Two Hands, My Two Feet" by Rick Walton
- the queen of diamonds
- 14 Legos
- a Van Halen cassette
- one AAA battery
See full, funny explanation in column form here.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
- My Homeland Tennessee, 1925
- When It's Iris Time in Tennessee, 1935 - sung from the point of view of someone who doesn't actually live in Tennessee
- My Tennessee, 1955 - same scenario as #2
- Tennessee Waltz, 1965 - about a guy who lost his girl in Tennessee. Now you're talking. This is the best one.
- Rocky Top, 1982 - ties for best! Maybe not the best representation of Tennessee, or maybe the perfect representation of it.
- Tennessee, 1992
- The Pride of Tennessee, 1996 - only one to mention Native Americans
- A Tennessee Bicentennial Rap: 1796 - 1996. I'd call it a rhyme before I called it a rap.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Because I don't like using "LOL."
- HAHAHAHAHAHA = really hilarious, usually in response to something you wrote
- hahahaahahhaha = almost as hilarious as the previous statement
- HA = still pretty funny, but you don't have a lot of time
- Ha = regular funny
- ha = less than regular funny but still deserves acknowledgement
- Har. = not really funny, but you need to acknowledge that you didn't think it was really funny because it was probably at your expense to begin with
Thursday, October 21, 2010
- 3 Michael Bolton songs
- 2 Abba songs
- 3 Pet Shop Boys songs
- 1 song by the Bee Gees
- 1 song by Air Supply
- Hotel California
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
2. orange boat
3. tug boat
5. our boat
6. that boat
7. those boats
8. little boat with factory
9. no boat at an old dock
10. little red boat
11. big boat
12. green boat
13. slick boat
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
- Get the motion-sickness patch! It's like magic, and makes all of the boat movement really fun.
- In the Gulf of Mexico, you can get a sunburn just from being outside - doesn't matter if you are in the shade or not. This may only apply to people who have ghost-like skin coloring such as myself.
- You can get food any time of the day, except between 11:00 PM and 11:30 PM.
- Do not expect to find any potato chips anywhere on the boat.
- Do not expect to find many quiet places to read on the boat.
- A boat is the ultimate location for people watching.
- It is difficult to get a Mexican Jeep with 100,000+ miles on it up to 90 kph (that was in Cozumel, not on the boat).
- If you go on the panorama deck at night, you might see a guy in his underwear getting his picture taken.
- Bob Marley protest songs are not really the right sentiment for a cruise.
- I would prefer to go a few months before hearing a Bob Marley song again.
- Having constant access to self-serve frozen yogurt cones is a little dangerous for me.
- I can't get through more than 10 pages of a Candace Bushnell novel.
- Even on a boat I'm overdressed.
- I guarantee I was the only person sketching on the boat.
- Though this was the only cruise I've ever been on, I know for a fact we had the best crew ever.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Things I will do to make it feel like it’s really Fall in South Florida:
- Hang my autumn wreath on the front door
- Buy the “Harvest” scented Yankee Candle
- Stop at Starbucks for a Pumpkin Spice Latte
- Wear closed-toe shoes
- Make shortcut pumpkin bread
Thursday, September 16, 2010
1. made a palette - note how neat mine is
2. set up a still life and painted a wash
3. noticed that the little amplifier I picked out said "Dynamite" as in "Moxie"
4. made a big mess of my formerly neat palette
5. finished my little analogous color still life
Friday, September 10, 2010
Jobs My Husband Might Find at the International Goat Days Festival (September 10-11 in Millington)
1. Goat farmer
2. Goat wrangler
3. Goat rodeo clown
4. Maker of artisanal goat cheeses
5. Goat chariot maker
6. Goat chariot race referee
7. Anvil exploder (though anvil exploding is not taking place at the festival this year)
8. Professional horseshoe thrower
9. Something involving tractors
10. Bluegrass musician
Thursday, September 9, 2010
- eligibility (there are waaaay too many i's in this word)
- examiner (I always add a t! Examinter)
- field (filed)
- query (extra u's and extra e's)
- browser (browswer)
- default (defalut)
Thursday, September 2, 2010
- Bee Season by Myla Goldberg
- The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
- Of Bees and Mist by Erick Setiawan
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
- Eliza (Pride and Prejudice)
- Anya (Roman Holiday)
- Scout (To Kill a Mockingbird)
- Amelie (Amelie)
- Brenda Lee Johnson (The Closer)
- Sally Albright (When Harry Met Sally)
- Prudence (Dear Prudence)
- Madame Michel (The Elegance of the Hedgehog)
5 Words That Describe My Artwork
5 Subjects I Might Paint
1. People I know, from photographs, cropped so that you don’t know that you don’t know them
2. People I don’t know, also from photographs, also cropped so that I don’t know that I don’t know them
3. Places I’ve been
4. People or places that other people ask me to paint, also known as Commissions
5 Reasons Why I Paint These Subjects
1. To show relationships through body language, because our heart can convey a feeling through body language that our head might not even be aware of
2. To show places that might spark a feeling of familiarity
3. To show places that might spark a feeling of foreignness
4. Because people ask me to
5. Because food can be pretty, and can spark memories and feelings associated with past events or future longings
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Clockwise from top left:
- Winsor & Newton travel watercolor kit
- pencil sharpener
- water in an old saline nasal spray bottle
- kneaded eraser
- 4B pencils
- water brushes (I love these)
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
- Could they not have just cut Amy Adams's hair? Hollywood wig technology is not far enough along to rely on a wig through a whole movie.
- I'm impressed that Meryl Streep acted herself tall.
- Does a blog really have to be about something? Um, don't answer that.
- The way the movie handles the fact that Julia Child has no children almost offends me. It was not really an issue in her book (My Life in France). It is as though, because this is a mainstream Hollywood movie, they HAD to address the fact that a 37-year-old woman doesn't have children. Because apparently that's not normal.
- I promise I don't spend that much time talking about how many people do or don't read my blog. I know you're both out there.
- They should've either made Julie Powell more lovable or gotten someone else to play her. It felt like it was a struggle for Amy Adams to play someone not lovable.
- They should've just made a movie of My Life in France.
Friday, August 13, 2010
- Getting up at 4 in the morning to wait on the paper.
- Throwing his back out doing the word jumble.
- Taking some receipts to Kinko's to get laminated.
- Driving really slowly down Park.
- Offering people hard candies.
- Eating dinner at the Piccadilly at 4:30.
- Watching reruns of Murder She Wrote.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
- latex gloves
- two 2" x 3" non-adherent pads
- box of 3" x 4" non-adherent bandages
- surgical sponges
- eye pad
- burn ointment
- one 36" x 36" x 51" triangular bandage
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
9. "Oh my god you never had a Cadbury egg?!"
10. "I've only seen one dead person since I've been here."
11. "Are you in a Three Dog Night mood?"
12. "Broke as a joke, man."
13. "What is toast? Are you serious?"
14. "When Indian men bald prematurely, is it common for them to get a hairpiece?"
15. "I need you to put the lid on the sandbox."
16. "Look up Borg on wikipedia."
17. "I made a possum comment yesterday."
18. "...puts diapers on their dog."
19. "I would sleep better knowing you were underneath the garage."
20. "Today is Tupac's birthday."
21. "You don't know who Bugs Bunny is? Do you know who Mickey Mouse is?"
"Do you know who Elmer Fudd is? Do you know Daffy Duck?"
Monday, August 9, 2010
2. Saw pink clouds
3. Ate meatball sliders
4. Saw my postcard painting, Bridge Mash-Up at A.I.R. Gallery in Brooklyn! (It has since sold!)
5. Sketched on the Brooklyn Bridge for about an hour and a half