Monday, August 8, 2011

Some "Don'ts" of Airplane Travel

  1. Don't take up three seats in the waiting area at the gate. I know you don't want to sit next to anybody any sooner than you have to, but if you have yourself in one seat, your food in another and your newspaper in a third, then there isn't enough room for everyone to sit.
  2. Don't bring a carry-on that you feel like you must kick forward while standing in a line. Either get some wheels or carry it.
  3. Don't not follow instructions. There are instructions posted almost everywhere in airports, all you have to do is look.
  4. Don't stand all up in the line for boarding the plane if you are not actually boarding the plane yet. You're in the way.
  5. Don't eat a whole full-size bag of sour cream and onion flavored chips before take-off.
  6. Don't bring a dog.
  7. Don't spray perfume. Or even wear it.
  8. Don't talk constantly through the entire flight. Particularly if you have a very distinct voice. For some reason those two always seem to go together.
  9. Don't put your seat back. It goes directly into the face of the person behind you. Most of the seats are broken and won't go back up, and you don't want the flight attendant singling you out.
  10. Don't bring kids on overnight flights. For their own sake, really.
  11. Don't make gross noises with your nose or your mouth. Just blow your nose or wait until you reach your destination.
  12. Don't move any part of your body past your own arm rest if you do not have a previous long-standing relationship with your seat-mate.

1 comment:

Mel Spillman artwork said...

Don't fart.

But if you do, blame it on the old dude sitting in front of you.