18 Years Ago, Things RJA Would Have Done if Stopped by a Traffic Cop

1. Turned down the radio.
2. Put on his shoes.
3. Removed the earring.
(Happy Birthday Old Man)

Seinfeld: the Kids' Perspective

• "I like Kramer - he's the funniest guy."
• "One time Kramer acted like he was going to hit a ball and he really hit it."
• "This other guy told a story and the people were scared."
• "There was another guy that was funny but he was only on it once. He threw something out the window."
• Conversation:
• Kid #1: "One time Kramer threw his shoe and it hit somebody. He was trying to get something out of it."
• Adult: "What was he trying to get out of his shoe?"
• Kid #1: "I don't know...maybe sand."
• Kid #2: "Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

What We Ate in Ft. Lauderdale

1. Delicious shrimp po-boy at Shuck-n-Dive - not the best shrimp po-boy I've ever had, which was at the Shuck-n-Dive but earlier this year.
2. Cuban food! Hallelujah! We have been sorely missing Cuban food since the ONE Cuban place in Memphis closed. Cuban sandwiches and one of my favorite foods in the whole wide world, mariquitas.



3. Birthday cake! Made by my sister...yellow cake with chocolate icing...also one of my favorite foods in the whole world. This was consumed repeatedly throughout the weekend.
4. Weird eggs at the Hampton Inn breakfast bar. I wish I'd thought to take pictures of them.
5. Organic pizza from Pizza Fusion. Delivered in a hybrid vehicle...just doing our part.
6. Fish tacos from The Whole Enchilada, a.k.a. The Whole Fresh Enchilada. Either way it's tasty.
7. A wonderful Italian meal with half of the family (even at half there are 8 of us) at Franco & Vinnies, complete with a carafe of Chianti, antipasto platter, lots of pasta, and a cappuccino. Molto bene. (Recommended by the lovely Terron.)
8. A pretty good snapper sandwich at Tarpon Bend on the riverfront. Would have been a better experience if the hostess had not sat us, including my sister holding the 2-month-old, in front of the speakers for the band that was about to play.
9. More organic pizza.
10. Another shrimp po-boy from Shuck-n-Dive! This time with tater tots!

3 Good Things About Getting a New Drivers License

1. It was fast, thanks to the nice lady at the counter who suggested that I use the do-it-yourself kiosk, which also lets you bypass everyone in line to get your picture taken.
2. The picture is fairly decent, though not at cute as my old one.
3. Thanks to taking the do-it-yourself route, I did not have to touch any of the clipboards, which I was thankful for after noticing a man take his clipboard into the restroom.

What I Wanted to Say

What I wanted to say to the nice looking, clean-cut young man who stopped me outside of my office and told me he had arrived in Memphis from New Orleans the day before, and asked me for money for bus fare to Omaha:

1. Why are you going to Omaha?
2. How do you not have enough money to get there?
3. Were you not already planning to go there?
4. Did something happen in the day you've been in Memphis that caused you to lose all your money?
5. Did you plan to go from New Orleans to Omaha?
6. If so, why did you not have enough money set aside to get all the way there?
7. If you make up the few dollars you are short, how will you pay for other stuff like food from here to Omaha?
8. What happens when you get there?
9. Is there a pile of money waiting for you in Omaha?
10. Can we please sit down, look at a calendar, and plan out a budget for the next couple of weeks of your life?

Where's Memphis?

List of the top fashion cities, according to The Global Language Monitor:
1 New York
2 Rome
3 Paris
4 London
5 Milan
6 Tokyo
7 Los Angeles
8 Hong Kong
9 Las Vegas
10 Singapore
11 Berlin
12 Sydney
13 Barcelona
14 Shanghai
15 Melbourne
16 Moscow
17 Bangkok
18 Mumbai
19 Santiago
20 Rio de Janeiro
21 Sao Paolo
22 Buenos Aires
23 Johannesburg
24 Dubai
25 Krakow

I've only been to 3 of these cities, but I have to question their inclusion of Las Vegas (#9). As T so aptly stated the last time we were there: "It's all fat guys and whores."

Friday Night by the Numbers

1. Number of adults present: 6
2. Number of kids present: 5 (whew, they did not outnumber us)
3. Number of drinks consumed by the adults: 16
4. Number of chilis the kids tasted: 2
5. Number of times the kids fell while climbing the door frames: 5
6. Number of times Aunt Elizabeth fussed at the kids for climbing the door frames: 5
7. Number of times GK said "baby": 1,218
8. Number of times GK said "ball": 1,104
9. Number of times RJA pestered Click about taking pictures: 3
10. Number of frozen bananas in Click's freezer: 27