3 Most Exciting Sounds per George Bailey

1. anchor chains
2. plane motors
3. train whistles

Happy New Year!

Santa's Advice for Buddy the Elf

1. You see gum on the street, leave it there. It's not free candy.
2. There are, like, thirty Ray's Pizzas. They all claim to be the original, but the real one is on 11th.
3. If you see a sign that says "Peep Show," that doesn't mean that they're letting you look at presents before Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

Collection: Christmas DecorationsIn

A collection is like a 3-dimensional list, and, like a list, requires a minimum of 3 items to be considered a collection. Here are some of the Christmas decorations I've collected over the years.

1. Christmas lights! We don't do this every year, and when we don't we're shamed by the rest of our block.


























2. Wreath - just bought this because with the pine cones and the big red bow it looks just like every wreath I drew as a kid.


























3. "Tree" - This is new this year as well. Our midtown bungalow full of furniture can't hold a real tree anymore.





















4. These angel ornaments are my favorite. I made them in 1992, the first year Toby and I had a tree.





















5. Stockings - Someone made Toby's last year, and I'm pretty sure Mel Spillman made mine, as it is my name in glitter.





















6. Manger - I bought this on e-bay a few years ago when I was feeling nostalgic for my childhood Christmas decorations. Typical of unscrupulous e-bay sellers, none of the figures actually matched - some are plaster, some are plastic - one sheep is as big as the cow, and only one of the three kings is present. But I still love it.





















7. Angels! I also got these on my nostalgic e-bay spree, because when I was little we had a tree-topper in this style that was "mine." I love these gals - they are so cute!










































8. Christmas cards - By tying Christmas cards to a string of garland I've turned your Christmas cards into a decoration!





















9. This nutcracker is the newest edition, but will probably end up being a year-round decoration. Our nieces and nephews enthusiastically and unanimously picked this out for Uncle Toby, and were so excited about it they wanted him to open it before they opened their own presents!

Happy Thanksgiving to Cousins of All Degrees

This is sort of a list, but mostly it shows that I'm right about the 2nd cousin/1st cousin-once-removed relationships.

A Few Great Creepy Songs

1. Ella Fitzgerald's version of Laura
2. Ella Fitzgerald's version of Miss Otis Regrets (to a lesser degree)
3. Lyle Lovett's version of Mack the Knife
4. Nina Simone's version of Pirate Jenny (winner)
   Nina Simone's version of Don't Smoke in Bed
5. Peggy Lee's version of Don't Smoke in Bed

Time for Another Installment of Overheard in my Office

List #1, List #2

22. "She needs a pre-sucked sour candy."
23. "Is he kinda like a circus performer?"
24. "Chinese tractors are made to be easy to work on." (personal favorite of this installment)
25. "I've never met a vegetarian Mexican."
26. "... the people who arrange marriages from sideshows..." (I'm willing to admit I may have mis-heard something there)
27. "Did you know that armadillos carry leprocy?"
28. "He was carrying a rattlesnake in a plastic bag."
29. "I wasn't privy to the nitty-gritty."
30. "I think it was like a pre-historic volcano or something."
31. "I'm gonna pass on the prostitute."

Tweeting Portraiture

Off the top of my head:

1. Rembrandt
2. da Vinci
3. Lucian Freud
4. Sargeant
5. Cecilia Beaux

High Museum of Art Atlanta

Under My Brother's Couch

1. a bowl
2. five pencils
3. two bottle caps
4. a New Yorker subscription card
5. one slipper
6. a Titleist golf ball
7. a small Superball
8. $1.62 in change
9. lint
10. a dreidel
11. a half-pack of Juicy Fruit chewing gum
12. a larger Superball
13. a copy of "My Two Hands, My Two Feet" by Rick Walton
14. the queen of diamonds
15. 14 Legos
16. a Van Halen cassette
17. one AAA battery

See full, funny explanation in column form here.

Things My 3-Year-Old Niece Is Thankful For

1. turkeys
2. beaks
3. eyes
4. gobble
5. head
6. colors
7. beak
8. head
9. family
   

See full, funny explanation plus cute picture here.

A Few Things I'm a Snob About

1. water
2. cornbread
3. barbecue
   

The Eight Official Tennessee State Songs

That's right, eight. Per the official Tennessee website.

1. My Homeland Tennessee, 1925
2. When It's Iris Time in Tennessee, 1935 - sung from the point of view of someone who doesn't actually live in Tennessee
3. My Tennessee, 1955 - same scenario as #2
4. Tennessee Waltz, 1965 - about a guy who lost his girl in Tennessee. Now you're talking. This is the best one.
5. Rocky Top, 1982 - ties for best! Maybe not the best representation of Tennessee, or maybe the perfect representation of it.
6. Tennessee, 1992
7. The Pride of Tennessee, 1996 - only one to mention Native Americans
8. A Tennessee Bicentennial Rap: 1796 - 1996. I'd call it a rhyme before I called it a rap.

Things I Love the Most Today, in Order

1. My husband, of course, and my family, of course
2. cowboy boots I bought in Spain are running a very close 2nd
3. Zappos - they ship so fast!

Varying Degrees of Funny for Instant Messaging and Text

Because I don't like using "LOL."

1. HAHAHAHAHAHA = really hilarious, usually in response to something you wrote
2. hahahaahahhaha = almost as hilarious as the previous statement
3. HA = still pretty funny, but you don't have a lot of time
4. Ha = regular funny
5. ha = less than regular funny but still deserves acknowledgement
6. Har. = not really funny, but you need to acknowledge that you didn't think it was really funny because it was probably at your expense to begin with

Cruise Buffet Music

In order to keep people from lingering at the buffet for too long, the following music is piped into the entire buffet area. I am not at all kidding.

• 3 Michael Bolton songs
• 2 Abba songs
• 3 Pet Shop Boys songs
• 1 song by the Bee Gees
• 1 song by Air Supply
• Hotel California

(Seriously.)

Boats I Saw from the Cruise Ship on the Mississippi River

1. big boat





















2. orange boat





















3. tug boat





















4. Minerva





















5. our boat


























6. that boat





















7. those boats





















8. little boat with factory





















9. no boat at an old dock





















10. little red boat





















11. big boat





















12. green boat





















13. slick boat

Sites of New Orleans from the Cruise Ship

1. This bridge





















2. Bridge again from the deck





















3. Downtown New Orleans





















4. Lower Ninth Ward?





















5. This church





















6. Not sure where this is, but look at how much lower the land is than the water





















7. Same bridge from farther away

Guestlist: Beach Photos

White Things at Tonight's Photo Shoot
By Stephanie Chockleyblog

1. Sand
2. Shirts
3. People

Guestlist: A Dog by Any Other Name

List of nicknames for our dog, Chi Chi
by Click (Daily)

• Chi Chi Rama
• Chi Chi La La
• Princess Paws
• Zu Zu Petals
• Chewie
• Cheech
• Chi Chi Monga
• Choo Choo
• Fluffy Bottom

A Few Things I Learned on My Cruise

1. Get the motion-sickness patch! It's like magic, and makes all of the boat movement really fun.
2. In the Gulf of Mexico, you can get a sunburn just from being outside - doesn't matter if you are in the shade or not. This may only apply to people who have ghost-like skin coloring such as myself.
3. You can get food any time of the day, except between 11:00 PM and 11:30 PM.
4. Do not expect to find any potato chips anywhere on the boat.
5. Do not expect to find many quiet places to read on the boat.
   
6. A boat is the ultimate location for people watching.
7. It is difficult to get a Mexican Jeep with 100,000+ miles on it up to 90 kph (that was in Cozumel, not on the boat).
   
8. If you go on the panorama deck at night, you might see a guy in his underwear getting his picture taken.
9. Bob Marley protest songs are not really the right sentiment for a cruise.
10. I would prefer to go a few months before hearing a Bob Marley song again.
11. Having constant access to self-serve frozen yogurt cones is a little dangerous for me.
12. I can't get through more than 10 pages of a Candace Bushnell novel.
13. Even on a boat I'm overdressed.
14. I guarantee I was the only person sketching on the boat.
15. Though this was the only cruise I've ever been on, I know for a fact we had the best crew ever.
    

Guestlist: Everyone Loves Fall in South Florida!

By my sister, Mrs. Katherine, mother of Harper & Charlie

Things I will do to make it feel like it’s really Fall in South Florida:

1. Hang my autumn wreath on the front door
2. Buy the “Harvest” scented Yankee Candle
3. Stop at Starbucks for a Pumpkin Spice Latte
4. Wear closed-toe shoes
5. Make shortcut pumpkin bread

What I Did in Acrylic Class This Week

Acrylic Workshop with Melissa Dunn at Flicker Street Studio

1. made a palette - note how neat mine is

























2. set up a still life and painted a wash

























3. noticed that the little amplifier I picked out said "Dynamite" as in "Moxie"

























4. made a big mess of my formerly neat palette

























5. finished my little analogous color still life

Goat Jobs

Jobs My Husband Might Find at the International Goat Days Festival (September 10-11 in Millington)

1. Goat farmer

2. Goat wrangler

3. Goat rodeo clown

4. Maker of artisanal goat cheeses

5. Goat chariot maker

6. Goat chariot race referee

7. Anvil exploder (though anvil exploding is not taking place at the festival this year)

8. Professional horseshoe thrower

9. Something involving tractors

10. Bluegrass musician

Words I Consistently Type Wrong, But That I Spell-Checked Here

1. eligibility (there are waaaay too many i's in this word)
2. examiner (I always add a t! Examinter)
3. field (filed)
4. query (extra u's and extra e's)
5. browser (browswer)
6. default (defalut)
   

Books with "Bee" in the Title That Heather Has Selected for Bookclub

1. Bee Season by Myla Goldberg
2. The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
3. Of Bees and Mist by Erick Setiawan

Things I'm Left with After a Raucous Bookclub

1. bb-riddled cans in my yard
2. a pair of sunglasses
3. a camera
4. a Saturn

Possible Names for My BB Gun Inspired by Some of My Favorite Female Characters

1. Eliza (Pride and Prejudice)
2. Anya (Roman Holiday)
3. Scout (To Kill a Mockingbird)
4. Amelie (Amelie)
5. Brenda Lee Johnson (The Closer)
6. Sally Albright (When Harry Met Sally)
7. Prudence (Dear Prudence)
8. Madame Michel (The Elegance of the Hedgehog)
   

New Artist's Statement - In List Form!

Artist’s Statement:
5 Words That Describe My Artwork
1. Bold
2. Painterly
3. Purposeful
4. Pretty
5. Bittersweet

5 Subjects I Might Paint
1. People I know, from photographs, cropped so that you don’t know that you don’t know them
2. People I don’t know, also from photographs, also cropped so that I don’t know that I don’t know them
3. Places I’ve been
4. People or places that other people ask me to paint, also known as Commissions
5. Food

5 Reasons Why I Paint These Subjects
1. To show relationships through body language, because our heart can convey a feeling through body language that our head might not even be aware of
2. To show places that might spark a feeling of familiarity
3. To show places that might spark a feeling of foreignness
4. Because people ask me to
5. Because food can be pretty, and can spark memories and feelings associated with past events or future longings

What I Carry for Sketching

Clockwise from top left:

• Winsor & Newton travel watercolor kit
• pencil sharpener
• water in an old saline nasal spray bottle
• kneaded eraser
• 4B pencils
• water brushes (I love these)
• pens/markers

This is what I carry now, but I'm thinking about adding a watercolor graphite pencil, or replacing the markers with colored pencils, or getting different pens or something. It's a work in progress.

Things I Will Do When the Weather Cools

1. turn on my oven and bake things
2. wear my lovely trench coat
3. wear my awesome cowboy boots from Spain
4. sweat less
5. shoot my bb gun more

Thoughts on 'Julie &Julia'

1. Could they not have just cut Amy Adams's hair? Hollywood wig technology is not far enough along to rely on a wig through a whole movie.
2. I'm impressed that Meryl Streep acted herself tall.
3. Does a blog really have to be about something? Um, don't answer that.
4. The way the movie handles the fact that Julia Child has no children almost offends me. It was not really an issue in her book (My Life in France). It is as though, because this is a mainstream Hollywood movie, they HAD to address the fact that a 37-year-old woman doesn't have children. Because apparently that's not normal.
5. I promise I don't spend that much time talking about how many people do or don't read my blog. I know you're both out there.
6. They should've either made Julie Powell more lovable or gotten someone else to play her. It felt like it was a struggle for Amy Adams to play someone not lovable.
7. They should've just made a movie of My Life in France.
   

How I Imagine My Big Brother Spending His Birthday Tomorrow

1. Getting up at 4 in the morning to wait on the paper.
2. Throwing his back out doing the word jumble.
   
3. Taking some receipts to Kinko's to get laminated.
4. Driving really slowly down Park.
5. Offering people hard candies.
   
6. Eating dinner at the Piccadilly at 4:30.
7. Watching reruns of Murder She Wrote.

Contents of the World's Most Useless First Aid Kit

Or, Why I Hope to Never Get Hurt at Work:

1. latex gloves
2. two 2" x 3" non-adherent pads
3. box of 3" x 4" non-adherent bandages
4. scissors
5. tweezers
6. surgical sponges
7. eye pad
8. burn ointment
9. one 36" x 36" x 51" triangular bandage
   

What I Have at the End of Studio Night

1. some sketches

















2. new surfaces on which to paint

















3. a bit of a mess

More Overheard

Overheard in my office, part 2

9. "Oh my god you never had a Cadbury egg?!"
10. "I've only seen one dead person since I've been here."
11. "Are you in a Three Dog Night mood?"
12. "Broke as a joke, man."
13. "What is toast? Are you serious?"
14. "When Indian men bald prematurely, is it common for them to get a hairpiece?"
15. "I need you to put the lid on the sandbox."
16. "Look up Borg on wikipedia."
17. "I made a possum comment yesterday."
18. "...puts diapers on their dog."
19. "I would sleep better knowing you were underneath the garage."
20. "Today is Tupac's birthday."
21. "You don't know who Bugs Bunny is? Do you know who Mickey Mouse is?"
"Yes."
"Do you know who Elmer Fudd is? Do you know Daffy Duck?"
"Yes."
"Well okay."

Some Cool Things I Did in New York in June

1. Visited this incredibly amazing museum, the Hispanic Society of America. I'm definitely going back the next time I go because I didn't have a lot of time to spend their and their air-conditioning was out.

















2. Saw pink clouds

















3. Ate meatball sliders

















4. Saw my postcard painting, Bridge Mash-Up at A.I.R. Gallery in Brooklyn! (It has since sold!)







































5. Sketched on the Brooklyn Bridge for about an hour and a half

Head, Heart, Gut

Just read this article on art:21 by Museum Nerd (@museumnerd on Twitter) about how he (he? this is an anonymous entity) looks at art, and the criteria by which he decides if he likes it (I'm just going with he), employing "head," "heart," and "gut."

Off the top of my head, here are 3 works of art that for me combine all three of these factors to produce a genuine "wow" feeling when I saw the artwork:

1. Vision of Spain by Joaquín Sorolla y Bastida at the Hispanic Society of America. This is the most recent - just saw it in June. I caught a glimpse of it from another room and practically ran to it. It surrounds the room and is quite overwhelming, but in the best way. (Note that no reproduction I've seen of this does it justice.)

2. The Boxers II by Carl Moore. I actually gasped when I saw this. Maybe not right away, but when I realized what was happening in the painting, I really did gasp. I love everything about this painting - the subject matter, the action, the simple lines, the composition, the colors, the fact that I didn't see the action right away.

3. A Love Supreme (Summer) by Sedrick Huckaby. I saw this at the Studio Museum of Harlem in January of 2006. When I think of a well-painted painting that immediately calls to mind a hundred different references, but is also just a gorgeous thing to look at, this is it.