The Only 3 Appropriate Subjects for a Painting, per Jack Donaghy

1. The horse
2. Ships with sails
3. Men holding up swords while staring off into the distance

Guestlist: Interviews

People I Have Interviewed for an Upcoming Article, by Richard Alley

1. Mike
2. Mike
3. Michael
4. Mike

Found in my Purse

1. a spoon
2. unused labels from my show
3. expired coupon

Orange Things on the Table Beside Me

1. Plastic cup half full of water
2. Tiny sewing scissors
3. Big bowl previously full of popcorn

Proof That I Have a Pen Habit

Purse Crisis

Equal to the calamity of the current NFL officials crisis is the ongoing Purse Crisis of 2012. The following list shows why it is near impossible to find the perfect purse, as these are our only options:

• Option 1: Really awesome purses that cost anywhere from $200 to $600 and up. Way way up. Even if you can do that, do you want to do that?
• Option 2: Cheap purses. These are, well, cheap.
• Option 3: Affordable handmade purses. Etsy is lousy with these. Sometimes they are great, but they run the risk of looking handmade.
• Option 4: Vintage. Vintage can be affordable! It can also smell like a used purse. Vintage isn't always practical for the everyday purse, as ladies of the past did not have key fobs, cell phones, etc.

What's a girl to do? Will I ever remain happy with a purse purchase? Will Green Bay not get into the playoffs because of the replacement refs?

(Purse crisis consultation provided by Memphisotan)

My Favorite Things To Do While Visiting My Grandparents, All Of Which I Did Over Labor Day Weekend

1. went to Publix
2. cooked with Mom
3. napped
4. read
5. watched the wildlife in the backyard (deer, hummingbirds, butterflies)
6. talked to, ate with, watched TV with, and played games with family
7. sketched
8. ate chocolate cake
9. used the Rotato